To Those Dearly Departed

A

AVENUES
So many avenues still to go down
Stample the leaves that crack to the ground
Forget the sound, just breathe the air,
Something familiar, something I shared
Feel the weight of your stare
Fell to fade from the glare
All the trials a person has
Anyway, you should have told me

Seems as though you get what comes to you, play the way others accept you
To act the fool/act wisely, it gets so confused
To play the game where does it get you?

Treat the healthy and destroy the sick
Who really benefits from "save the 3rd World" guilt
Belly full and left over to whinge
Excess in your own good deeds

The deep night, castes a light Shone your hands of greedy might
From my view, the moral bite,
Anyway, nobody told me.

Suzie Zuzek copyright 1998.

A MOMENT OF SELF INDULGENCE

Stormy blue, head into the ocean

Sky of waves, an empty page

Can't work out what is missing, I can hear these children singing.

I always see a ghost in the clouds

I always see an angry skull

Hands reach out into the wind.

My senses fallen and rotting.

I'm so proud but there's still this doubt

I'm moving but I'm sliding down

My hands stuck in something, i can't pull out.

What a joke can't find my way out.

I fucking don't feel sorry for myself

Quite sure i don't need no-bodies help

I don't believe i want to die, but i know my time has not enough time

It's getting close now, wave to the night.

It's getting closer to the sunrise.

AT CLOSE RANGE

Out here it's so fine when you screw up your mind and nobody finds you missing Out here it's so dry, the air cuts into your eyes, you can't feel so you don't mind to go blind.

Greasy hand slips, you miss what you wanted to hit, forgotten what it was all about, barrel fist becomes your mouth.

Best to keep your thoughts inside, best to let no-one inside, may make you crazy, will break eventually.

Going under a storm of uncertainties In all this thunder just cannot seem to be Going under a storm of uncertainties In all this thunder just cannot seem to breathe.

ANARCHY
Social circles
One downward spiral
It's funny the way there's always an angle
If you can't look deeper then yourselves, how's it a threat then when you rebel
Takes more than some boots, more than a label
It's about what you do, NOT what you're made to.
Reading about Anarchy won't set you free
You only hurt yourself when you criticize we.
And everybody sits! And everybody shits!
Feeding off ideals someone already thought of
Is revolting the way, the people you spit on
Talking about new scenes beating the old ones
New scenes, new schemes-everyone's got one
We have the same means, so much in common
If only it was everyone got on!
Suzie Zuzek copyright 1998.

There is still fire in my spirit and energy so free, So fucking free feels like Anarchy. Suzie Zuzek (c) 2007.

ARGENTO'S MURDER
Pornographic fixtures, her arse, her bludgeoned cunt She crucifixion, her saviors no-one Bruised baby girl, nowhere to run Man hater, "yeah right", "oh come on". What do you want? Raped women whilst man flies undone. Raped women, their daughters and sons, can' t you talk to a woman without a hard on?

Some heaven when he is epitome of God
Television, magazines and internet porn
She hater, she will always be whore
His mistress, his mother, she is orifice of soughts

Little girls objectified
Prostitution popularized
Desensitized, trivialized
Degrading women serialized

What do you want?
Kid fuckers=sick fuckers
Go getter=oppressor.
Abuser=real loser

Ooh yeah he's watching, ooh yeah he's pulling
And she's his bitch alright, its all she'll see all day and night
Reality and MTV know where the money's at they'll fill your head space full of crap.

Mutilated women, implants and reconstruction
Can't a woman have power without having to whore her arse
He's seduced to purchase via erection
She's validated by mans vile attention.

ABORTED FELINE
When man is tired enough to see through his mistakes
Only then he'll realize he's not giving what he takes
An aborted feline reaches in the dirt of every man
His existence is her extinction, he's blood on his hands

She isn't innocent, she's catching up to him
She isn't beautiful, her soul is dipping sin
She's despised, she's guilty, she's been dead to begin
Whilst he's adored, forgiven for things she could never get away with

What have i found? Someone who wants me.
He'll never hurt me
He'll never hit me
He won't deceive me, never degrades me
He doesn't control me,
He listens to me,
He'll never leave me, never defeat me
I won't feel empty
I won't feel lonely
He won't go crazy
I'll never be scared
I'll never need to run

Tiny fingers, delicate grasp, she's circumcision in her hands
While he plays infidelity, she will flirt to understand
What he gets away with determines he is man
Her face will show but he will let her go
If she behaves just like he can
If she behaves like a man

She rises from the ashes in femme resilience
She'll realize who she really is when she's not been broken in
She's born to suffer, its getting harder tearing limb by limb
In a cage she's a tiger, whipped and chained to satisfy his whims

ALYSSUM

Walked out onto the pier to watch the sun disappear into the edge of the Earth, shades golden and pink filter.

The sea breeze beats a chill, the street is full and broken still.

We're just real estate in others eyes, a vacant space to utilize

.
Crazy what others can do, when you're in the gutter looking through.

Invest my time in the scenery, i can't tell real from dream it seems.

Takes discipline to be a mess, with poverty comes violence and drapes the night in scarlet, when tolerance is worthless.

The calm is waiting, baiting and racked, while the act of violence is bragged and is

spat.

How they are angry, they won't take shit, stepping the territorial piss.

We're hostage to environment when crimes are swept unseen and authority is corrupted, you can't tell who's crook or clean.

When we're hostage to violence, to fear and injustice.

Eden is buried in the sand amidst infected syringes and broken glass.

Who can tell, now who's to trust?

We are the anchor to a ship that's sinking fast......

Suzie Zuzek (c) 1996.

BLACKOUT

It is quiet enough to hear the sound of darkness

Back when anonymous phone calls played tricks on my mind

Now again i feel like that time, am i eight forever in memory-BLACKOUT

He stands there too like a raincoat on a hanger, catches the corner of my eye. Remember the terror of waking and the terror of sleeping and of never really knowing easy times.

The murky B-Grade feeling of poverty and violence, an alcoholics unsettled silence and cursed mind. There was a witch in the laundry (hysterical laughter), waiting to eat us, see the madness comes to life if you give it time.

Steps' leading to god knows where; Dream people come shake me in fear.

And the shade of the early evening stains of spilled tea over rooves, over the city, glistens like gold. And the shade of the early morning, a vague mist adrift in the hall, to the bedrooms, astral traveling to the ceiling and sinking through the freshly polished floor boards.

The bloodiest thing of all, steps led to an open door. Dream people come take my fears.

The rattle of snakes throughout the desolate corridor and bones and sea shells embedded in their ocean mattress. The kitchen was vile and on the dining table sat a large container housing a python. Suffocates my reality. When i'd dream in grey and digest its meaning, I think i thought too much.

BITTER RELIEF

He thinks of other women when he's making love to me and i don't know what to think of this brutal honesty. So i let him know i have others on my mind, they come from time to time under my spine.

I want you to feel the agony I want you to feel how it felt for me. Or you'll never know, you'll never know just how hard deception blows.

I had to find myself a man because i needed to know how it feels inside another mans heart. I have to find myself a man because i need to know how you felt inside another woman's heart. And i need to know what it feels like inside and i need to know how he'd feel between my thighs It just has to be once, i've got this need in my soul to go down low and feel so high.

It only takes a minute to undress and cure the savagery of loneliness. Substitute affection with a bit of sex, if it's the only way to forget about him If it's the only way to get out of his skin, if it's the only way to forgive him.

BULLET IN THE HEAD

Magic fountain, water flows from the Spring
To the river, takes her down the sink
Sparkle and pure, now rusts the drainage
Pulled the plug, he downs it like an iced grin

The green ocean, black and stacked with
Cargo dropped like a jetliner crashed in
The fish are coming down for air
Emerald drink, don't ever leave this feeling

It's like a crack in the head
It's so easily bled
Forget the worst that i said
We'll be loyal to death

And we stand on the edge of the ledge with a bullet in our head
And we live like a dream with a dream for a bullet in the head
And we stand on the edge of the ledge with a bullet in our head
And we spend all our lives looking through distilled eyes, we all fear death.

Suzie Zuzek copyright 1998.

BATTLE SOUNDS IN SINKING GROUNDS

Learn to take advantage of life's repetition
No matter if i miss the boat, when it comes back I'll get on it
God fearing hands with right wing plans beat the process of revolving,
They take upon as though their right to bash our brains with poison

And you guide your life by what someone else taught you
If you thought for yourself, instead others do it for you

Walk the world, you must hate the world, What do you do for it?
With your carving knife you are making cuts to the goodwill in our unions. Coppers and supremacists, bourgeois and politicians,
well your arrogant use of authority is denying us our freedom.

And you guide your life by what someone else forced you
If you thought for yourself, not let others think for you
And the stars and bright lights disguise, steals all your attention
You are paralyzed under the powder blue skies, under covers of glossy papers.

A speck of dust in your distant sight, a scratch under the surface
A speck of dust in your distant sight, reason never seemed so unfocused

There are things that you could do but you've got no time to have a clue
You eat your meat, you bash a Jew, you porn a child, you kill your neighbour
You cleanse all colours into white, you tax the poor, you hit your wife
You send young men to fight your wars in the interest of the nation, 'What'?, Whose interest is to be the strength, the powerful persuasion that will keep the world align and Big Brother upon our shoulders.

The profit of War, the profit of killing, the profit the rich and the governments making

Its one thing to have pride, but nationalism breeds hatred
Flags identify, liberate but some steal our freedom
Keep us terrified with the prospect of War always baiting
When two ideals collide, the outcome always devastating

And we think that our hearts are free, we sing songs of rebellion and peace
We dream to achieve Anarchy, wave our fists in the air, someday victory.
And we want to rid the stigma of the KKK, and Hitler so we look the other way and call it propaganda.
So we're tagged P.C self righteous 'cos we stand up and we fight them
Pacifism allows violence so instead we act just like them.....

C

CLASS WAR
When you begin in life there are some things that break your skin and tune
The ones who are liars can't see through their own fires that embrace your horizons, you are their fuel.
What a year spent on hatred and violence and confession, now I think I'm beginning to realize you.
While you're all out their growing, intoxicated (with) learning, there are better things to do with youth.

How I hate to be near you now that I see you clearer but there's not much about that I can do.
If I tell everybody they'll think that I've been stirring and blindness is easier than the truth. When your mates befriend your enemies and slowly everybody leaves you when things get too difficult
And I can't beleive that you're too right too right to see it, can drive a person crazy, now I want to hurt you.

In my rear vision, my backwards smile too,
How you treat people like fodder, like fools
Shows your face, your whinging, your ignorance gives meaning to my screaming

Have a Class War to end it all.
But will a "Class War" kill all Wars and you?
Suzie Zuzek copyright 1998.

CART AND WHEEL

Stars are shining, all teeth and sim, the maypole spins.

Ribbons twisting, soaked stone in mud and bitching

Cartwheel society, i want so much, so much that i can't see

Crayon drawn, a sun with frown in blackened marking what has spiraled

Testament of shitty things and things that aren't worth mentioning

Got out of this bullshit swing but want back into tigers grin.

Got out, got without an ounce of knowing anything.

The mouth that spat me out is chewing on my second skin.

CELEBATION

There's a song that i have heard I read it wrong the first time

The spelling was adhesive and under was the meaning

There's a song that a child sung alone from everyone

Nobody was really listening except the other children playing

So they all began and joined in

And they thought that they had fit in And he thought now that he belonged

But they weren't singing the same song

CORNER OF MY EYE
We are the only progress when we can stop the products that kill us, that contributes to the Worlds failure to grow up and you know what happens all in the name of science, all in the name to save you, all in the name to tame you.

Let them see what it feels like if i had a fucking gun, if i had the time to serve my life behind the same bars that keep us all in the same line.

And you call yourself revolution, well you're the splinter, you're the human vice.

If you all let madness exist, you let sickness decay,

We're ALL retarded when we obey.

CONCRETE
What if you were me and i was you High up in your tree, wrapped in cellophane Wrinkle up your eyes, you are just walking living lie Wasted space, so very safe When will you teach yourself human? When do you stop apathy pollution? Get out of this shell coffin Educate yourself, you're living fine that it's a crime

You never see, never see no grief
You live restraint by traditional means
So you will beat what goes over your head
And the price we pay for ignorance

The World blows itself-in-significant
Are you going down with its greed?
The population is idiot to the reelings of cruelty

People kill for peace? What is this?
You are just like me as children
Running still in a dream, can't move, can't breathe
Can't move my feet
Don't grow me up to starve.

Will we ever learn to be friends?
Treat each other with respect?
If i stopped taking offense.
Will you stop causing problems?

Suzie Zuzek (c) 1998

CURTAIN CALL

No feelings left

Too sick inside your head

Got a little rhyme in red for everyone you care

No feeling left Too sick inside your head

Little rhyme in red

Loves you when you're dead

Blown it all away Blown it all away Blown it all away Blow them all away.

DEAD END

Blue light but the sound is grey, going to breathe dry, remember this day.

See you driving the wrong highway, See you minding only it's too late.

So where you going to run to? So where, the places they hate you.

Hits when you weren't watching, better play dead, they're not finished with you.

Cannot decide between death and life Cannot be fooled again Got to keep an eye out for that dead end.

DELIBERATION

Short-comings are further then perceived

So good at waiting could make it a career. In all honesty it keeps me hanging, trained my eyes not to be naive, occasionally over sees.

It takes time, it takes a life It takes a life to find the time

Ears bleeding, noises always bothering. All in a day it does come to breathe. Then it will fade, like what was sound, I'm in the grey only for now.

Committed to always be outside of everything dealt The tired evergreen, I'm separating myself from the retainment that is grooming.

Whatever it stows there's much debate of however you choose to operate and I'm so damn tired and full of hate, so I'm a social burden and a waste of space and i guess you ought to hide me away.

DAY AFTER DAY

Live baby live-day after day. Don't be afraid-don't move too late.

Live, baby live-day after day. Don't be too slow-time it won't wait.

You look out the window, you'll never let go until the barrier breaks through every pain you know.

Shards of glass/separation from the people you know. Every emotion you've been through, no-one could possibly know.

Live, baby live-day after day. Don't lose your head, don't lose your aim.

Live, baby live-day after day. Out of the wreckage of a deadend daze.

You look out the window, you'll never know

Where it will bring you or how far you'll go

Every day dying can be so tiring.

FRAUD

It takes a lot of standing

Now you know will you ever believe it?

And what you are now changing

Do you think you could ever go back there?

Think about it before it costs too much

And think about it before you cut it up.

And they wake in crimson morning

Red gloves, red aprons, red touch

To shine their silver torches Play God by cutting them up

The price of cure is vivisection

The cost of suffering does not add up

If animals are not medically human What's the point of cutting them up

Think about it but it costs too much To know there's money in cruelty without sense to back it up

FALLOUT

One day in the passion of two tempers or two angers, whatever, they collide, When out not controlled there is sure to be noise and hurt sticks and stones and words that break through the bone. Sweet saw buzzing our bodies in two. Like they were just before me and you. Siamese attached, head on shoes. Oh she really did, she really did adore you.

It's in her hands, in her hands Her mind clocks in time and sand

A friend once said the bad days will end but you with your switchblade heart, they only deepened. And he's one of nine And i'm nine of ten, Yeah she was one of those women who walked with dangerous men.

After the fallout, into the aftermath Demons rising out of their cul de sac.

FIGURE IT OUT

And you care for me so why are you leaving me deep into despair
And you won't cry or dwell upon the feeling
As if you would care
Several times trying to think nothing of it, sure not to obsess
Lucky to survive the ride before it
Lucky to still have the sense

Left the lot under the cold of outside
If you look under the rocks you will find
Dealt a lot, dealt with a lot of bad life
Left it where i know never to find

I hear you calling me, waiting, I'm waiting
Now's the time to figure it out
I hear you calling me, "nothing" and all this shit
Now's the time to figure it out
I hear you calling me "wasted" and all this shit
Now's the time to figure it out
I hear you calling me, put me down without a sound
Now's the time to figure it out

Suzie Zuzek copyright 1998.

Fountain of life

He didn't understand, he didn't try, when the trigger was pulled it all went red
But she ran fast, full speed ahead
A fuck in the head he give her for being dead
She had to die to stand his mind when he was blind on beer and wine
His thick dark fist blacks out the sun
His dick in her mouth tells her who's No.1
And the buying boys shop, like to watch the little girls dance
It's fucking sweet romance if he gets half the chance And she's been looking out for love but he only wants some fun, for a bit of affection, for a slipping tongue
Sing passing time, you could have any
Fish on a line, you could be any
Doing hard time for being steady
Don't be too shy, you could have any

Time flies by Slipping life Who places this insanity in our heads? Locks us in with brutality, chained to our deaths
Is this the reality?
Is this the threat that expects us to take what little we get?
But i want it all that freedom can give
The pleasures of grace The pleasures of sin
The moon, the stars, the whole damn thing
The essence of everything worth living

Suzie Zuzek (c) 1998.

G

GROUT
Tar and weather those unsuspecting, perched above they look so exclusive, they even think for you.

They look so respectful in their formal suits and shiny cars, their shiny cars, their shiny fucking jaguars.

I can only envy their fucking fortune meantime i scrub for them on my knees in awe or in jealousy of their comfortable standard of living, like a little girl dreaming one day i'll be as lucky.

But i'm older now and i don't give a shit about what i don't have but there is a need for equal distribution of money.

A desperate need for equal fucking standard of living

I wish upon the stars but they are covered up

I will do my part, stand outside the system that cuts everyone of us in half

GOODBYE GREY SKIES

Why do you watch me cry with such hatred in your eyes?

And as each minute passes you think it's alright this life.

Better then what you left behind, to watch me lose my mind

But i can't run after you no more to catch your threats of suicide

He is my only weakness, he's been my only one

And he craves for my affection but he's as crazy as they come

In his mind runs a poison that is venomous in love and to give him all of my loving is to give him a loaded gun.

I couldn't just leave you, it took months to find a way.

A great escape to free us both from the cruelest of pains

The very last time i touched your face, i told you things would change.

No more abuse, no more lies and no more my terror pale face.

When i tell you i'm dying, you say "our love's forever".

When i tell you i'm dying, i wonder if it's for the better.

When i tell you i'm dying, you say "our love's forever"

When i tell you i'm leaving you cry, "please stay together".

HANG ME

Oh well, what can i say It's too early. Oh well, brighter today Will stop my mourning. I wish i could go away, there's no use trying. So here I'm unsafe today, well I'm not worried.

You'll come to take me away, you'll have your poisons. But i won't need your persuasion the state that I'm in. See sun shining ablaze, my face skin flaking. Another of my complaints so won't you hand me.

HONESTY GIVES COLD COMFORT

I asked you, how pretty she was? I asked you, how well did she fuck? I asked did you look in her eyes and murmer sweet notions of love? And your letters before said you loved me to death, you letter said no-one could compare. But obviously she filled the space i left in bed for you to face.

Oh my, oh my, you're a handsome man with a penis bigger than whole of Amsterdam.

And you have to poke it into foreign land to show the Universe how you're such a capable man.

And for the years that you had tortured me, through the abuse that you had done to me. You heal my wounds by throbbing your dick in her cunt and sucking her tits and watching her come. You wrote how you love me forever, it's funny you kept her number. But now i'm free to do what i choose because what's fair and love's just a joke to you.

And you were born with legs to walk on the ground, and you were born with a dick to follow around.

And love to you doesn't mean a thing when you're a slave to the thing you got dangling.

JAZZY RAIN

"Do you trust me"?, as you pull me under wings
Seduction peels a layer off my skin
And i want you and I'm weak so I give in
Screw me how you like you were digging in my bin

And you talk like love but your mind's thinking of her
What did she think when you use me to hurt her
And I feel so stupid and small for letting you in me like a whore

And I'll trust you, I'll trust all of you to death for the passion lust holds,
for the sweat that leaves your breath
And when heartbreak so blunt, so sober, real and raw
When you said that you liked me, why bother at all?

The difference of love and just fucking is hurting
What do I want doesn't really mean a thing
To you I am nothing more than muse, substitute til she gets back with you.

No more lies.

Suzie Zuzek copyright 1998.

KNACKERY

Missing of company
There is nothing
Nothing is everything
Sometimes you've got to die
Sometimes to know alive The pain
It happens everyday, it is just the way
Can't sleep
Can't do a thing
I can't seem to do a thing.

Suzie Zuzek copyright 1996.

L

(I CAN'T HELP BEING) LANDFILL
We're beating boredom everyday, in the same old way we lack to change.

There are 10 year olds with razor blades

Their faces old with stress they age

Could you be any kid on the outskirts of the city and your parents they have left you to conclude you're not worth breathing

At the bottom of the barrel as it tumbles down in landfill is your meaning to be careful opened up with wounds to refill

Well it all comes down to a middle class list

If your parents are rich you are worthy to live

And it all comes down to being privileged

You get what you want, you always get what you wish.

LIFE LESSON 101
The walls were thick, the walls were grey

Tables and chairs scattered at play

First lesson in authority

First lesson in humiliation

Too stupid to read the clock on the wall

Too tired to look up at the board full of chalk

Teacher, teacher was up in the clouds whilst all the kids were messing about

A new world of pressure, of despair and doubt

An insight into what the real world's about

Too nervous to answer the role call

Dysfunctional to bother with it at all

LOSE THIS NOOSE

What was it when they pulled you down

They got you in the happy crowd

I saw them too, their skin worn through

The soul they loose when they had found

All the missing pieces fit

And all the clouds did lift

Numb bodies, users limp

Over the edge they drift

la la la la la la la

Invite you in to desist

Nobody dies, nobody lives

Puncture dead skin, injects love in

But you will lose if you submit

How your curious mind ticks

For the want of fixing it

When you sell yourself to it

There's no chance of beating it

la la la lala la la

MAD/SWITCH

I'll see your face a thousand times I slip into conscious death and i can't make up my mind who it is i like the best?

The light is ruby flame; remember from where you came 'Cos you know that lasts forever and it's written on your grave

You all look to be neatly, clean and free of strings but to pull so slightly undid your packaging

Best be seen not heard, learn to keep your mouth in your face

Submit to all your fears as they put you in your place

Fucked up in the head so you fuck us in the mind

And you fucked her up so neatly that you covered up your crime

Now i don't know what to think, I don't know what to feel

When the shadows are too thick and i don't know who is real.

MADHOUSE ON BUTCHER'S HILL

Come play, come play I'm not out of control

First thing you say, "put her under control"

The human nerve is corrupted, I'm just a zillionth of a cell

Seeing eyes without blinking, how everything blows

I'm dead too sane I'm not out of control

Come close, watch your choke while I sever your throat

You want to know what it takes, how far one can go

When reality sinks and everything blows

Is Hell hard to get to? I know a way to get through

But how the pain seethes through you But how the pain can wake you

Just open eyes and walk through Just open eyes and crawl through

You'd wish you never knew The truth and all it brings you.

MUTED

Have mercy on me oh Lordy, Lordy Jeez
Oh Christ our mothers fucking you so you can set her free
Your rosary asphyxiates her and all her dreams
Lubricated crucifix in cunts that weep until they bleed

Oh Christ, Oh father, Oh God, Oh butcher
In divine interpretation you born us to suffer
Oh Christ , Oh father, Oh God you butcher
Whichever way you turn the Devil looks better
The most hideous thing is people beleive you
Must be all believers have great mental issues

Religion is the constricts of society
Cashing in on fear and guilt feeling
Religion is a fallacy, a business scheme exploiting the ignorant through brainwashing

"To the women he said." (To the women who bled)
"I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception in pain you shall bring forth children;" (who will grow to resent you)
"Your desire SHALL be for your husband and he shall rule over you".
(GENESIS, chapter 3:16)

Oh but he'll never rule over me.

For when'st they came to thee at night like succubus raping life
Immortalized, materialized to substitute famine in ones mind
A picture of lust and dirty cloth lay by the bed side.
His resurrection like Jesus second coming judging only SHE the slut
With lips and tongue wrapped around his only emotion

Shackled ankles and wrists, devoted to his salted whip and bondage notion.

On her knees or legs astride
She pleads for God sodomized

When there is no God to punish her for his sins
She'll be happy dancing Devils never measuring down to him.

MONDO
Set afire your colourless conception, how could you possibly be expected
To be accepted as a God of any type, when you're too intent on destroying all kind of life.

You're out there enjoying death.
You're out there snuffing it.

A defined "Fuck You" to those wishing not to intervene
Truly hopeless to be content with what seems to be global insanity,
"Oh man" you kill and kill for pleasure, how can that be right?
I hate all your thirst for blood, the degradation of life,
Are you not yet civilized?

I hope you who are so violent, uncensored violence in mind and movement.
Get all back to you only 10 times over, get all back to you only I'll hold the camera.

Then we shall see what is entertainment.
Then we shall laugh about "real" mutilation
Shall we rape you?, shall we slice you right?
Shall we eat your flesh, this we will hire for the night.

MIND RUNS A SEWER

He surrended to society
Admitted defeat to anxiety
Now there's no way of telling when he's going to speak
Of the things that are taking him further the deep.

He's awake for a week then asleep for the next
They tell him it's all about mis-management
And they're brainwashing him with their lies
And they keep with the threats to cut off his life

My hand is a shake which catches his reach
But the sand that is holding breaks down at my feet
And he is a moment away.
Yes he was a moment away

Now he's gone to drinking in the dark of the bay
Out of mind, far out of range.

MIDNIGHT

Rainbow, rain goes up the stairs

Shouldn't stare or i couldn't share

Crystal clear, you're not all there

You've hardly made your presence clear.

Your name, it's not the colours you choose to wear

You swear, but that won't get you anywhere.

Sell your parents, sell them out

Like they know what you're about

Your sing blues goes roundabout, chopper blades sure eat your mouth

Your name, don't care much about loose change.

To swear, it gets you here, it gets you there.

NEVER LOSE IT

This is the complete of emptiness

This is the best it will ever get

Must adapt, keep intact Must never lose it and i can.

NO BIG DEAL

Now begin, now begin. You will win, now begin another disaster.

The perceptual fucking sing of piss has come home for another mind beating.

Time bomb in all our heads, He releases, I give in, i always give in.

Only death can cut the wire, even then, even then the fires been burning ever since.

This explosive is recyclable, processed so precise, keeps to schedule. Always strays alight.

No amount of water can black it out.

Fighting fire with fire cannot black it out.

NIGHTRIDER

You spend your time, going over and over

The open sky is calling you to sober

To all their lies, reached in to peel their cover

It's no surprise, they're numb to sleep forever

Ride the night, ride for awhile.

We'll wash the blood off working hands that blister

Knee push the blade deep in to fork your fingers

The judgment blind, carelessly to hinder

How wrong allowed us bare to face the winter.

OUT OF MY HEAD

Out of my head, out of my depth.

Out by some miles, out of my mind.

So much that i said, could i have been so unkind.

So much that i said, could i be sicker if i tried.

So here we go again, neither one retreating

If i was to see it clear, how do we stop scaving

Our love is made from cutting knives, Damascus steel unfolding

When pain is all that's left inside, it's rage that keeps emerging

Anger in my head, anger in my mind

Anger in my depth, it's dangerous in its miles

So much that i said to make you be unkind

I'm pushing you away or else I'll massacre you in time

So here we go again, Battle cry cascading

Like rubble down a landslide, how do we stop scaveing

Our love is made of cutting knives, our hearts are busy tearing

When pride is all that's left inside, only rage will keep emerging

So here we go again....

OH, IT'S A PITY!
Oh, it's a pity, i carry no gun

For today like many others, there's so much i could have done.

Now I'm not one for killing and it's violence that i shun

But my head was flowing over, an abattoir of blood

Oh, it's a pity, look at what we've become

With looks fame and money, can do what you want

Get away with murder, eccentricities

But you're ugly, poor and no-one so then life is just a tease.

Oh my heart find a way.

God made trial pain, suffer and excruciate me.

I am the night become adrift in the day where i float like a river full of dead, rotted torsos that resemble limbless, lifeless trees.

So intoxicated beauty burns and disheveled.

So infamy despised and recognized, aimed through a loaded barrel

So fortune disintegrates through taxes, theft and depression

So those without shall be seen as equal

And for the wretched, no more humiliation.

See into your revulsion-

Narcissist disfigurement
Cripple your prosthetic rise among Hollywood's ghetto of opportunist
Hail the executioner towards the formidable ruling class,
and all their dirty pleasures.

Suzie Zuzek (c) 2004.

PACIFIC IN THE SKY

Shortwave circuit is blown and disposed

With no line how could i possibly confide in you

You have got to wake your sleeping brain

You're in drug fucked denial does no good to anyone.

POWER THROUGH PAIN

We are atoms bond together connected by the breeze, i guess i'm lucky to escape the person you wanted me to be, 'cos i would rather die hear me i would rather die than to live a dying life in retarded vice.
I say over again lets unweave our woven webs because you know they only trap us, you know the traps they set and I'm too young to be your mother, I'm too old to be your pet and as i work myself together i work so you i can forget.
And you'll stay in stagnate misery so long you don't take a step towards the future possibilities, the heights and not the depths because how can a person evolve when they are willingly content to watching life go by the river when they could be swimming it.

And i fell out of the sky, onto love so colour-blind.
I dug a needle in your eye to stop you telling all those lies.
And i fell out of the sky, never thought I'd reach the ground.
And i fell out of the sky and cracked the surface; crushed my spine.

He threatens to inject petrol or he sets himself alight or he mutilates his body and then says he'll suicide if i don't give him what he wants, if i don't love him how i should
But its all manipulation, its all about control.

Will you realize the loss when you stare it in the face? And me honey; i was just a trace of an image in your mind, picture of a better place but we didn't take you where you always thought you would be safe.
So my love let go, let me down the rivers bend and when we are found only then can we be friends. It's the hardest of time but the suffering had to end, when we were lovers we seem to cut along the edge.
This feeling's got to end that makes me cry out for your name, makes me want to soothe your pain, that makes me want you back again.

Whatever will i do with all our shared memories, caught in a plastic bag like skeletal fish floating in suffocating waters oh my love you were sublime, so why did you kill off our moments of divine.
And i'm trying to forget you and it works sometimes when i think of all your violence, all the loss and all the lies and i think of all your problems and i had to say goodbye, and you couldn't say goodbye and let me out of your crazy sight...

When you hold my love forever, it's power through pain.

PUSHING PUNCHES

Now i know that you need me to stand well

But i can't help feel I'm just your hidden wheel

That keeps you moving on and keeps you moving on

Keeps me holding on if you're moving on

If i stop you at your tracks you'll just keep on rolling back

And if you find your way back around In that environment that brings you down

I call it lazy Hell, those scene-ster junkies who try to crack fragile shells like you and me

I call it crazy Hell; I call them crazy 'cos they're too weak to look at themselves

I call it vicious World and life's demise I can't bare to look into hostile eyes

God help you if he loves you

God help you if he needs you

God help you if you want them

God help you if you need them, when you need them

Pushing punches, how you're free by swallowing

The strings of your heroin underneath your skin

Your syringe drags, your needle grabs your destiny

Your promised land, your lie

You wake on tracks of suffering

(God as a metaphor, not a christian song:)

RAW

Now we've got something to say before you ruin

You've no condition to be the decided you see.

You cannot fly, you've yet to try. You fear the thundering skies

It's not so easy but it's not out of reach.

Eardrums burst with a fury, pieces of skull shake in

Silence so violent, silence enters your mind.

Raw and so tired, rarely see the sun

Never will be left in peace, dwells inside sweet misery .

RIGHT UNDER

Many times to wander

How deep the grey water

Adhere in this matter

Bet you can't get right under

Bet i can get right under

He doesn't know it yet

And if told would soon forget

And i don't think that he would care

And that's a reason to not tell

And force him trapped in the swell

What is there to expect

You can't do with discipline

Shark circling your wreck

Innocence has gone to slumber

I guess you can't float forever

Sure i do whatever i care

Endure the silence, endure despair

Breaking the surface to catch the air

Then i go back under

The water there is much kinder

SWAMP

They close their ears, they close their eyes too, my only friends are stuck with glue and they're better then you are.

They begin to win, they think that they are really something, don't want to show they make me think of where i am going.

Sometimes i choose them over you 'cos i don't need solutions. Don't need to justify to you my way of living.

You take me in your transformation, I greet your sickness I leave you in it.

You take me in, your best performance I make you trip, your thumble at your entrance.

SIT IN A TREE

Learn how to breath under water

I was resting in my innocence, accustomed to my loneliness

And I was so oblivious to the beauty that surrounded this

Now I'll never be free like I was then, it's hard to return when your mind makes no sense because I've fallen in love and I'll do it again, it's got me hooked, I'm so dependent on it

And the days dissapear like they never began and I recall the hour I first held your hand

I remember your kiss through my body it ran, I remember your love steal my time with demand

Now i have to beleive that a person can change,

I have to have hope and learn to understand

Because if there's no hope what future have we and I can't give into this kind of defeat

We'll move to the country

We'll live by the sea

We'll climb up a ladder and sit in a tree

We'll run without crutches and stand on our feet

And one day you and I will live how we please.

SORED TRUNKS

Birds can swim and the fish can fly and the waters dry, dry.

Kind of fools paradise when you go bye bye.

Dropped my washing on the dirt and sand. Lost the feeling in my hand.

Lost the feeling Lost what i never had.

Miss you mad like i miss my cats when they go missing.

I keep my junk and i keep my trash, It's good to have something.

I can handle almost anything, yeah fish can fly and the birds can swim.

Kind of fools paradise well its my life

Sci-Fi
They're feeding us bio chemicals, Sneezed up the air that contains the filth Genetically engineering us through the 21st Century

We are the product of someones assignment, A product designed then reproduced
Artificial organs, bone and skin, To be the perfect human substitute.

To whatever the dream, this monstrous scheme to retail us into a mold that won't fit
I walk past the shows where androids perform, their brains think like you and me, symmetry
I've seen it on T.V, a Sci Fi movie, an idea it seemed, now its near reality

We want it all looks and longevity, so many poisons seeping in our fruit
Pills to keep us awake, to get us asleep, to give muscle some weight, to make us slim
Cloning of sheep soon there'll be more than one of you and me, but one flesh and blood, one bionic
The World under glass from the penetrating heat, the new dawn will be just how we planned it.

Suzie Zuzek (c) 1998.

SCARED CROW

Amusing my small mind i play along with your mis-fortune. I couldn't be more sorry for you. I couldn't be more tired. You may as well be half instead, you may as well be hollow. A lot of nothing inside, you've never had your face caught in a web.

All you do is paint yourself in blue, then leave unnoticed.

I can only bring you down, because that's where you belong. Don't want to shake you but there's no-where, no-one who can save you now.

Moist wood to keep you until the worms come and take you. What do you leave behind when no-one wants you.

STANDING STILL ON ACKLAND STREET
You wash in the slipping tide

Caught out the grandeur of the sky

All your money in the World can buy, but the Liberty of human life

And not a single thread of soul is found With all these beating molds skip the ground

I'm free with thought and free to SHOUT!

Do whatever it takes to cut the crowd

Set in your way you won't take no reason

How i've tried to be straight forward but where does it leave you Defensive/Offensive

Now i take what you give and i deal and i measure it all in a line, you take all that was pleasurable

All that leaves me like the end of a cigarette

SUNLESS, STARLESS, DARKNESS
When will compassion be more than just fashion?

You're pulling down the blinds while the World outside is crying

You're pulling down the blinds to the World out there is dying.

You know destruction is your only function

Where is your God when your sons are being murdered?

Where is your God while they are raping your daughters?

Oh now man, won't you take anothers hand

Just this once take your head out of the sand

Oh now man, won't you take anothers hand

Mine reads poor yet it knows to understand.

Greed you are feeding while your mouth it is eating

You take so much, you have to smear your name on everything

You own, you dominate 'cos on the chain of life its "man is king"

He wears a golden crown greening from the lie it sits

Your head is full of natures sin You fuck the World and make her sick

Oh now man, won't you take anothers hand

Just this once get your head out of the sand

Oh now man, won't you dare to understand

You are garbage in the gutter, you are sunless, starless.

SEBASTION SLEEPS IN PEACE

Cuts the road, your body showering
I'm so sorry, I was late to see
Now I hold you in my arms you bleed
For a moment I thought you had breathed
You're slipping away from me to memory
And I wanted to say that you mean everything
Oh the night climbs sadness to my tired life
And the night I held you like my tears tightly
Felt like a knife slicing my heart with no means to an end
And the night, I can't stand it
Don't you fade away

(Dedicated to all my feline friends who have traveled this journey of life with me)

Suzie Zuzek copyright 1996.

STORM OF HIS MADNESS

When i came to and found my body lifeless in the gutter, drenched and shivering in the storm of your madness. My mouth catching hail drops, pain on my skull, neck and shoulder, degraded and battered. You were sorry, probably because the attention was on me, the ambulance, the humiliation,

And i cried, i cried so loud. Not for the pain in my body but for the suffering my heart and soul had been dragged through and the theft of my strength and the demise of what i use to be. And of all my stupidity to allow a small man so skillfully destroy me.

My freedoms murdered body and hysteria mind fucked, emotionally dependent to your romance and power struggle violence.

"Did you get what you wanted to see me hopeless like some bashed junkie whore? Will you still die without me like the last time and time before when you couldn't live without me so found solace in another woman's empty body parts. If you were a stranger I'd have killed you.

The rest of the time was a roller coaster ride and the rest of the time it would have been easier to die, then to sink to the ground and forget who i was for a chance to be forever a poverty bride. And i nearly became where you came from and i never wanted my children living in slum.

I was more then your property dressed in rags and stench of your cum.

She grabs his head back, the drama of it all While he pulls the knife into his throat for her to love him nicely. He sobs unable, he gets not what he asks for nor the reaction he torments for. So attempts again with bloodied blade lodged in his left nostril. She pulls it down away. His psychopathy for her to love him nicely.

he tearing and rain, what an endless feeling of suffering and pain. Like an Apocalypse, her final disaster.

When a scream falls deftly like a siren in the distance. I remember now, the moment i died Like a dream or decline. Yes it was when he murdered my body and mind. He broke my neck amidst the early morning rise.

My bones hold in frailty, cracking, snapping like chalk. I'm strong to put up with it. I'm weak to the core.

What did you hear them saying? What did you do anyway? And you and you and so were they watching her break in fragments away. And did you see how he froze her, did you see his grin when he thought he got away with it. Did you see his hands muffle her screaming, i know you wouldn't have done a thing. Your time will come.

SLEEP AT NIGHT

How am i going to manage any hope of ever standing.

Being knocked down as a kid you see some things that settle in your head and damage.

Scars for a life, now i can't sleep at night.

And all this time i would cry for help with a distress flag mast high, how i called it Hell.

And why no-one heard me and then who would care.

So instead i died and slowly.

Scarred for a life Watched the fuse ignite

Domestic mine and what kind of life.

SPECIES
When nature and its wild are gone and lost in the dark when will people stop, and stop The World is a star, It's dead from afar.

And no-one dares to read it, extinction of all species
Except us, you and me are counting backwards

And we will regret in time, time will pass away..
When the nature of existence is to fade away.

Suzie Zuzek (c) 1996

Sound of Alarm

Sandy coloured sky, overcast and dry
The drab monotonous stain, it is my life
Should take a ride and drive into clearer skies
Anywhere that isn't here, that would be fine

Home, there hasn't been one i could find
Hope, i've used all up just to get by

Short changed of happiness that I look now at giving in just when......

Through the mountains, parted so to free the mind
Wave the signings and shitty people behind
Break to view the sunset Rose wine divine
Took so long but I always knew I would find

Sail by car to the edge in dives all the time
And when it ends take a dose of cyanide

Why I'm only just closing my eyes to blind all my troubles aside
The darkness it showers a light, well maybe I don't have to try

I will no longer let no influences dis-respect my life is fine!

Suzie Zuzek copyright 1995.

SMEAR

Make you my poison, I'll need no sword then

We will destroy them without blood stains or victims

Get into their systems, reach into their conscience

Teach them remorse and we can make them be good then

Just submit guilt into their thoughts, it's the only way

The only way to manipulate.

Got to work it in without showing it

Got to do it quick before they get it

Got to be the voice inside their heads

Going to be the voice inside their heads

Just need a little time. to work it in, work in their mine

Restore the pieces that are missing

Take out the shit that has been sitting

Don't they know?

Don't you know?

Don't need no damage done.

Don't need no loaded gun.

Don't need to slaughter them

Don't need to kill them.

The Whole World Is Watching.

And when the night is dark, I will be there.
And when the night is dark, I will be there.
And when the night is dark, I will be there.
And when the night is dark, I will be there.

And when the bombing starts, I will be there.
And when the shelling starts, I will be there.
And when the screaming starts, I will be there.
And when the terror goes, on and on and on and on and on and on.............

And as the mothers cry for their children.
And as the soldiers cry for their mothers.
And as his little heart STOPS!

The Whole World is Watching.

Suzie Zuzek copyright 2008.

THE END OF NEW BEGINNINGS

Oh my love where are you hiding, away from deep regret and despair.

Under bridges by the river, out of everybody's way.

My love nobody wants to hurt you but you seize all hearts that care.

You say that you can't live without me and if i leave your life will end.

So hard to let go, let go, let you go.

Like death has come my home is silent and i am there to remove stains, and memories of all our suffering, our love, our pleasure and our pain.

I've cleaned the blood off all the hinges; I've thrown the smashed glass in the waste.

I've packed all my things in worn out boxes then sat on my knees and cried out your name.

Do you love her? Then why do you hurt her?

The Deepest Blue

He keeps his hold, hold on me

It's come to this i fear to sleep

He's crying loud over me

His tears are falling hopelessly

Mustn't fall in too deep

All his charm lures me in

Like a snake, i rise for him,

To the sky, I'd die for him

He gives me flowers and poetry

I'm stepping so cautiously

Awful silence deadening the line between him and me

But he cannot begin to see that to break my bones is a breeze, unlike his psychology,

the way he keeps his hold on me.

He will break my sanity as his grip of fear wrestles me

He's no responsibility for his own life or mine it seems

He's losing it so seriously

He cannot deal emotionally

He's behaving so dangerously, but my feet can't walk away from him?

Over the edge, under the sea, into the depths of misery

How could peace cease to be and happiness so out of reach

TIDAL

Into the ice wind blowing, been away too long. So much is temporary and i've trouble with colliding. In a way this could be killing me, letting go of too much energy. I'll reclaim the damages i've become I'll keep the tragedies until i wake up.

Could you say something to offend me Could you be unkind, could you make me hate you. Better leave you cold, better leave you cold. Better leave you cold or I'll never let go.

I push away what i will lose a knife in the power point ignites a fuse.

Too sure, too sure i know what I'm in for Another empty seat and a ghost beside me.

TIGER CHAINS

You never know where it leads

You never know where it starts

Always everyone counting

Til the day is over, til the day, walk so far

And you never really fall apart

Some thread always ties you up

Catching dreams in bottled jars

Cuts routine out of task

All these dreams are mirrored glass

Expectations can break in half

When no-one knows who you are

Seems when you're on the ground

There's no-one to be found

So hard playing different roles

Different roles for different souls

If i didn't give what they want

I would have to walk away

In every minute of the day

In every second of the day

TOO SOON TO TELL

I'm not a lie, turn off the lights

I like it dark so i don't see the fear coming

Makes it alright, see the static shine

More places to hide, adjust my eyes

And i'll see what i want there to be

Up against the wall, your fingers breaking

Can't let you through. i don't really know you

Could be a friend, could be an enemy too.

Blanketing the day, rust in my eyes

Another beast in my cell telling me lies

Gritty knives, lodged in my spine

To paralyze me is there a reason why?

There's no surprise with you, i've seen everything

Is there a reason why you, you had to dig it so deep.

I'm not a lie-caught in the wire

Just caught in the wire

It's too soon to tell.

UNDONE

Walking through the time escape, memories come and then they fade
I got some feeling the other day, it made me sad to walk away

And everyone runs and they run to be far ahead
I want to stay where it's safe in comfort
Don't like the way things can change in progress
What's there to change and will change make a difference?

You come undone to be advanced
You come undone for a laugh
You come undone on overload
There's no way telling how far you'll go

And tomorrow scares me awake, I can't afford to be afraid
I've never met nobody sane enough to reassure me that life's ok

We've come undone all to be free
Primates strapped in casualties
We've come undone on overload
There's no way telling how far we'll go.

Suzie Zuzek copyright 1996.

WALKOUT

Left is the gain of the strain being half asleep

Seeing there is no other way to exist

Lost in the weather or whether or not it is trying to break any sense that there is.

It comes back in circles too weary of times like this It's not that he wants to let everyone in on it

You don't understand that its out of his hands to be just what he dreams and accept what it seems.

Walked out to try new things It's worked out the same old shit .

WARM BEER ON XMAS DAY
They got me under social control, Social conditioning to wither my soul

They call it 'Human Services' just so they can with their resources keep me always on hold.

Got to be more than this. The feeling i get is shit

What is anybody doing here? Drinking too much piss taste beer

Now you're colder than ice dear, You're harder to hold

When your skin is all leather, So much harder to cut holes

People so scared to say what they mean Soon all your colours will be shown

What you all lack to display honestly Soon all your colours will grow

WAR OF RIGHTS
Doesn't move me, your route is scenic You know what moves me, civilians screaming, That your outdated justice system is bleeding Transfusing blood til death before a judge and jury

Doesn't make no sense, no sense is when you're left to die on the pavement,
I hear they're shooting street kids down in Brazil, Military defends "it's doing it's best to fixing a problem".

When all that matters is your freedom
Its just a matter to time your disappearance
But i am afraid that you will not be returning, buried under desert while the red sun keeps on burning

Doesn't make no sense, naked in fields of corruption, bound to be silenced
The theft of sanity in empty skulls a lunacy, too mad to ignore this shit of a War

The skies are cut into pieces, its shelling, the politics savagely run
And as long as there's screaming from the nights are screening
Speak behalf those gagged by guns.

Suzie Zuzek (c) 1998.

WEEDS

He's a product of disaster, see her break relentlessly See she has been blackened out, his eyes are pressed upon his knees A product of neglect, a product guised in cancers reign However will she ever, will she ever be together sane.

All the colours of the World will tell It's never knowing only time will tell Tape these nails to this frame of wood You see it falling down apart for good.

He bruises like a patient with immune deficiency But its not the pretty colours that he's wanting us to see. And she does it so discreetly, engraves messages on her skin. He indents with tools so blunt to capture what is really real, What is really real.

All the colours of the world could tell I guess you weren't really too pleased with yourself. So many colours that you kept to yourself. A sky of colours that no-body else felt. A rainbow in a tear turned to rain. A sky that opens up to shower such shame.

Whoever will visit your grave? Whoever will flower your grave? Whoever will come to your grave? Whoever will let you be safe?

WONDERLAND ?

There is no better place so why not get use to its face
We have it easy, its not bad
We got it all, we got it "man"

See all our colours bleed to one
See all our kids are having fun
There's so much love that shines on through its just like Walt Disney cartoon.

It's Wonderland
It's magic, "man".

The grass is green, the streets are clean
The front lawns they are kept pristine
Red roses bloom and shed perfume that sweeps into our living rooms

No reason to be unhappy
The rent is cheap, the food is cheap
All animals are free
Living is easy

It's Wonderland

It's magic, man?

Suzie Zuzek (c) 1998.

WHAT ELSE
So we shall see what will be, for how long the rainbow bleeds

Water throws up generally Something about repeated history

Oh my aching memory What seems left to beleive

Dependent to always be door matt in your travesty

You are the hand deciding punishment I understand you are the government

And what of all your convictions, "oh but there's never been such a better system"?

___________________________________________________________

HOUSEHOLD DRAMAS

I the late 90's i was involved for a brief period in the Anarcho scene where i was in a band with acouple of friends. First we were called "Household Dramas" (as that's what i was having at the time) but then i was trying to be "cool" so changed our name to "Copyright".

Whilst in the band we recorded one song on 4-Tracked called "Everything Sucks" which appeared on some DIY benefit CD compilation. We played live for about 4 shows then broke up.

Anyway here are the lyrics and if you want a copy of the song you'll have to ask me for it.

EVERYONE SUCKS By Copyright/Household Dramas
I needed you when you weren't there I had to grow up strong instead of living pointlessly I fixed mechanics in my head To throw you off, to stand alone I was born to be my own And that is why, and that is why No-one gets in No-one controls

Safety in numbers / but no-one listens

I take no orders from fathers and doctors
No rapist, no butchers and no wealth class system
No drugs, no religion, no meat no traditions
and no politicians and no dietitians

I never asked to be born
Never asked to be part of the human agenda
But i am over it, Society's fucking threats
If you take shit then you're just a part of it

A part of destruction, a part of destruction
When will you notice that you are the problem?
Oh when will you be vegan?, Oh when will you be straight edge?
When will you listen?
When will you protest?

Everyone sucks, Everyone sucks.

To be continued.....................

To Those Dearly Departed

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Music to dieeeeeeeeeeeee for!

Suzie Zuzek-lyrics A-Z

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